I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
