my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
