everyone is single if you try hard enough
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
