Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
