She is in my trunk
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
