Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
