Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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