Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
