I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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