When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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