can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
