$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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