New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
