Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
