My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
