On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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