Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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