dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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