glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
