Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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