i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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