I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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