you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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