i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
