I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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