She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
