shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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