Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
