i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
