I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
