You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
