i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
