Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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