i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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