he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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