Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She bit a glass in half.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
