New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
