we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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