brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
