yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
