He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
