so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
