how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
