i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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