I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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