so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
