I faked an abortion last night.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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