hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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