Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
