I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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